Current Events: Trick Feelings, Small Gifts, and Beast Clouds

faithangelFaith Rhyne: “What is helpful to me, when I feel like I might have some damnable disease the morose outcomes I sometimes anticipate, in full technicolor imagination with emotional scoring and extrapolative bearing of the weight of every possible consequence and heartbreak upon giving up, being defeated, with the feelings in my body like lead and scissors, like concrete and black ash, and the laughter of men, the crying of children, all of it unfurling in my head and heart as I quietly and calmly sweep the floor, perhaps with an involuntary grimace at times, maybe a gasp, with the sun beautiful outside and the day full of things to do and an amazing fatigue and unwillfulness, disdain, laying in my bones like a film…

What is helpful to me, when it really does feel like depression, is to write.

When I am not able to write, all of this piles up, with everything else that is real and possible and I simply become overwhelmed and sad…a frustrated child, beating her fists against the wall, breaking her own wrists because she can’t be heard.”

PROOF OF GOD! ...and other tragedies.

12/22/09

 
 
 

 

to
me
 
We can carry a lantern’s light from one room into others…
But, sometimes the light is just much too bright.Be wary of leaving certain light behind and be sure the people who lead you into the dark know where they are going and why they are going there.

Kindest Regards, Your Friend –

Faith

 
0819_evening
 
 
I was getting ready to do that thing that I do, where I deposit the recent week’s letters and 1/2 finished non-essays and other various communicated ephemera of the past few days.
 
So, I searched for letters to me, from me, but I must’ve added a comma or made some other error because gmail only offered up two results, one from December of 2009, which was right at the beginning of the year that changed everything. The message seems to have been written to…

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